I cannot sleep, therefore i write.

i'm writing a blog post, on 1 am in the morning. how sad could that be?

maybe it's insomnia, or maybe it's just my sleeping pattern that's screwed. how screwed are my sleeping pattern? as screwed as your face when it got sucker punched by mike tyson... if mike tyson's fist were attached to a comet, and had nuclear warheads on each fingertips. to get the simpler picture, gue bisa tidur dengan normal, seandainya gue tinggal di belahan bumi lainnya.

or you know, maybe it's just insomnia... but in that case, i need to rename my blog to InsomniaFucksUpMyGPA.blogspot.com.

yang lebih gue sedihkan, why am i writing a blog now?? there's like, a ton of things a prime dude like me could do in these dark hours, like cuddling with their girlfriends and then floating away to the calm water of their dream boats, or you know... rock those dream boats, and wet those booty by throwing them into a raging sea of salty water, if you know what i mean.
or for single bachelor, like me, they could have gone into a club, dance around, drink some booze, and (probably) picks up a hot girl, and proceed to (highly probable) engage in a physical contact that... oh, fuck it, they would get laid. this blog was NSFW anyway.

well, i would love to cuddle with my girlfriend, if she was anywhere nearby... or even had existed in the first place!

and i believe going to a club is a waste of money... because i won't be able to pick up any girls anyway.
why am i so sure? my man, i know i look like someone in heaven tried to make a clone of Brad Pitt, but somehow mixed his DNA with George Clooney's. tapi sobat, hidup itu bagaikan Ikang Fauzi... terkadang engkau menjadi idola remaja, di lain waktu kau menjadi bintang iklan On-Clinic. the look might be my strong suit, but i sucks at anything physical, such as dancing, dirty dancing, and every derivative of movements to attract other human beings.

it's like, the part of my brain that coordinate the boogie were stop evolving at the primate stage. yeah, my dance move looks like a chimp trying to attract their female mate by scratching a coconut shell into their minuscule wang at its worst, and looks like some ancient indian dance to summon a rain. a huge rain. a huge rain of fire, famine, death, and destruction, at its best.

in fact, the only place i can picks up "hot" chicks are at McDonald's.

Mmmhmm... i will eat your legs and breast, baby! like, literally.

And the only wet pussy i'd be seeing this weeks are these:

And still so much rejection :(

so... opposite gender is not an option here. however, i am not a morning man.
yes, it's 1'o clock in the MORNING, so it is morning, kay??
and i hate everything in the morning that has nothing to do with women, sleep, or bacon. it's a common knowledge that woman is a no. bacon! ah, i knew it, bacon would be there for me... except she doesn't. kalo ada yang tau dimana beli pork bacon di bandung, please please please tell me, and you wil be rewarded open quotes-Handsomely-close quotes.

so i was left with one option: sleep. to think about it, i think i'm going to sleep right about now. good night cruel world, good night...
PS: i was serious about the bacon, anyone??

New Blog, new... well um, stuffs.

hi folks, it's me again... hide yo' wife, lock up your daughter
the funniest blogger (according to my mom) is back in the... rnet!
get it? in-the-rnet? it's a pun, was meant to be like the old sa... you know what? fuck it, it's not funny anymore.

anyway, gue bakal mulai menulis hal-hal random sekarang.

first, i write what i think, or want, or whatever fucking please me... it's also possibly means a ridiculously high amount of the word "fuck", lagian itu juga kata favorit gue. so if you like it, thanks dude! you're my bro now. if you don't, well... fuck you and your high expectation.

then, as you may notice, i write my blog mostly in english. it's not because i don't feel nationalist, although it's true i'm not the most nationalist guy on the planet, or even had any sense of nationalism! i write my blog in english to improve my english writing skill. and to look cool, USA (and most of english speaking country) rules baby. i was also hoping that my european friends to be able to read my blog, and hopefully, VERY hopefully, promote my blog to their friend, which in the desired case, a hot euro-babes, which would result in me getting laid, a perfect ending for my rather short-witted love story.

why blogspot when there's so much blogging service available in the internet? (no more pun this time)
well, my friends told me i should use tumblr. tapi pas gue ngeliat tumblr-tumblr swaggie kayak kushandlyrikz and friends, i was all like:

i was all like this

gue juga kurang suka make wordpress karena gue belom jadi dosen, dan blog gue sepertinya tidak sebegitu mengedukasinya. jadi tolong jangan mengecap gue sebagai hipster karena gue make blogspot.

okay, i think that's all for the first post. i don't want to scare potential reader, am i? so good night, sleep tight, and have a sweet dream. and desi? PICK UP MY PHONECALL!!!!